Friday, January 7, 2011

The Choice, The Training and The Cost~

Salam.

Good day to readers out there :-).

This week as I am writing this signals the end of my training in Symbiosis UPM-MTDC 2010. There's a lot to learn from, since only a handful of colleagues are fresh grads, and alhamdulillah, some of them were my closest friends. Most were more experienced, already have around 10 years of business experience. Its something I realized had been a very difficult to enroll in, since its not my nature. It had got me thinking for some time and its been a decision I made for myself, when people around me asked whether I know of my decisions  like "Are you for real?" Well, today's going to be a day of explanations. (Even the GE units of the Symbiosis reading this do not know)

When I first got the call, I got to choose only one since all three interviews are on the same day. My family were thinking I would take the other jobs since this one is not my type but I choose what I thought best. The deal was made earlier with Maru and Hanif, that this opportunity paves the way which we were looking for. My previous post was one of the main reasons I chose this training, promised my mates we will stand together with this..and meet the peers expectations to be enrolled in.

Well, and here goes..I did pray, that if its the only way..of be able to do something rather than talk about the problems of common people like us, that I be changed to meet what is needed. During the training period, many matters are alien enough for me, even the environment is totally not easy to adept.  I even thought where did I got myself into, and thought about my compatibility. I continue on praying that Allah give me what is needed..and over time I got what is needed, in exchange of some of my personalities. But what did I learn is that changes can be very dramatic. At times I really knew what I was doing was totally not my regular self but then I forced myself to bear it, untuk tebalkan muka dan paksa diri demi melayakkan diri. The only thing in my mind is that do what must be done. Still I can remember the I don't like it to be  too interactive or had to force for decisions. There are many more matters forcing me to adept but then I choose so not to enlist them here. However just after 2 weeks, I can began to see how my interaction differs. I did another personality test and found out I care less for people, I demand things, I tend to assume command, I can easily get angry..how easy it is to change~!

Somehow in between the training period, I met my college-era friends. We talked and just in a few hours some did say I am different? Got me thinking for some time, the costs of the change may affect me worst if I can have them in control in the near future. I think I should learn to have a better self-consciousness over myself before I slipped away too far. I will change for what is needed but will not sacrifice moral values in paving way to my dreams. Let us all pray that Allah s.w.t guide us and not let us destroy our own lives.

For we ever got lost, there should be a way to return,..if not how did we walked ourselves into the same road before?

1 comment:

Tuan Auz said...

true.

as long as you don't lose your real self, thats will be okay. people can change but bare in mind, only changes for good is acceptable.

but then, in the same time there are still other people who is having their hard time to adapt themselves.
Just don't ever lose hope in trying and reaching for the best!

most importantly, stay as the way you're but keep improving to be better. =)

haha and yes, u changed a bit... i saw it~ weird comments on FB sometimes. haha