If I Must, Hesitations Must Go~

Salam

The joint project Maru and I personally code-named "Super Nova" has been formally accepted and the government had shown interest in funding it. I did wrote that during the training period, the remaining 37th Slackers, Maru and Hanif will stand together if Allah permits our bidding in this. The many times headaches and skipping sleeps have been finally paid off. Alhamdulillah, Allah accepts all of us in our respective projects. My, the headaches are going to return again, but I promised myself not to skip sleep anymore. The way we wanted to be capable of joining others that has fast forwarded earlier in amal.

However, the approval of our BP proposal did not come without hesitations. Abide the good news suddenly I remember the training days where I think I am another person (adapted personality) doing so just to survive there. I can recall my awkwardness that I am not good at socializing, but I made my best there. I am not a good actor, but I strive myself. I am not even a good decision maker, I know I must be so forced myself to learn and start becoming one.  I dont like to demand, but matters there required so, so I had to do it, along with a few more personality-changing objectives. Along the way, I got my aggressiveness, maybe unusual caution and even dismissed feelings, people or of my own when its decision versus feelings. Not to mention the "more socialized" me most notably..often during the training thinking I had to do it to temporarily. The unusual anger, the pretty demanding me back there. Like "If it needs to be done, it must be done". But remember I did not enjoy doing those personally. When the joint program ended, the "I-must-change" momentum back there slowly dissipated when I returned to my village and had to spent some time to be shake off these unusual characteristics to be myself back. Allocated some private times rethinking of who I am before the training and evaluation, and even astonished to believe that I had been like this and that there. And I think I am can only share this matter through this blog.

Earlier this week, I've been called to report back in. It looks like those days will come back. The days where we know challenges are always overwhelming, and I wonder to what extent this time? Maybe some will think I will be selfish along the way, but I'd rather think Allah knows my intention. The fact that during yesterday's consultation revealed the market value of the project is much higher than what we originally proposed, revived the momentum. I will go to the extremes to adapt to the potentially harsh challenges,  but I will remember I am a Muslim. I am not those who do not even have moral values in doing business. If there's a need to change again, I must do so, even though permanent this time..but  I will try to remember:-

That I should work to please Allah s.w.t.

That I would care more for our Muslim welfare

I wrote this so I will remember

Maybe I'm too ambitious, but I will strive to materialize my intentions.

Who Shall Reveal Me The "Truth"?

Salam..

Currently dedicating some of my time to collect enough data for a new post, this one should address against deception that had been around for some time. Its time to purge these false doctrines out of our knowledge and replace them with a new one. InsyaAllah I will report my findings in the near future.

The Forgotten Meaning of Education~

 

Salam..

How's today for dear readers? May Allah s.w.t have mercy for all of us, and eases our daily chores. A bit recovering from the "body weakness"..I found that I have to work out more as the more I do physicals, less tiring my body is in normal times. I also started taking energy boost drinks, and by the permission of Allah, keeps me up a bit and becoming better everyday.

A sermon from last Friday's prayer..had talked about a method in fiqh regarding "matlamat tidak menghalalkan cara" or whatever purpose does not permit ways against the syariah law. The "khatib" or the person giving sermon emphasized the matter in ways that many would not dare say against, since I found that he only read the part of the text given. Mostly sermon text were moderated, maybe for reasons far dated back in the age of caliphates where sermons sometimes caused uprising and so on. He stated that its already a common way, those who did it, almost unwittingly has to admit its well practiced in many countries, sadly Muslim countries. Many of those with political ambitions have been proven (did you know about those cases?) that chose  to disregard legal ways permitted by Allah s.w.t..Also many of those with power/authority had been freely misusing their position. (Remember the recently caught Customs officers' case). While on the other hand, even more of those in the business field kept on doing "mengurangi timbangan" just what Allah s.w.t had prohibited..even cheating customers. 

And yet those doing this will keep practicing this, until their days are off, or their lives are taken. Hopefully most will repent or given Allah s.w.t forgiveness should they seek for one. Since when we "should" had forgotten what is allowed/prohibited? Commonly heard excuses are "Common practice?" "Macam mana mau untung?" I know to certain extent that even Muslim traders cheat on their customers.. I am involved in a few trades, and also a personal experience of being a witness to a "politik wang" scenario in Malaysia. Why all these? 

The sermon continued on to link this matter to the perception of education in the so-called "real-world" today. All that we knew today is to get our sons/daughters good education, but actually what were given are mostly "fardhu kifayah". I know, current knowledge on today's world is very important.. but we must not forgot about the urge to continue on study and the importance of compulsory "fardhu ain" education. When we mostly stress on roman alphabets, we forgot about the words of the Quran. When we stress about business and work, we forgot about the need to learn first about Islam's permitted ways regarding those matters. Above all, we pursue our degree, masters or phD, but we often forgot about the need to constantly gain "fardhu ain" along the way. We thought we we finished those as desired levels of education above, we are done..no more learning. Maybe the thought of having "dah ada orang belajar dah" or "nanti-nanti tua sikitlah" mindset is there. That's where the "matlamat menghalalkan cara" came from. We learnt the skills for our specialized work/job descriptions but we forgot Allah's guide, which Muslims should follow accordingly.

The sermon then reminded all present there to start gaining what was lost, and that those who had been involved in unlawful acts to repent. My advice is that let us do what Islam requires us to do, to our own extent. Disregard challenges to stray from Allah s.w.t permitted path. We are not like those people who work without any base guidance, or worst by not having moral principles in doing business. Allah knows best, and we should seek guidance only from Him..not making our own guide. 

"Never wait to repent until its too late.."

Till my next writing. Salam~

Sense of Weakness~

Salam~ 

Its been quiet these few days. Things seemed to slow down. No strange things currently as from my last entry recorded, alhamdulillah. Still living with my small business here. Keeping business up requires frequent travel..almost 3-4 times a day might be not so good for this body. I am sharing that since last week, I have been in a constant struggle against my own body. Its always against the race to catch up time for sales, for materials. Until now, I still feel very weak. Even for some basic things its like forcing my body to complete the task with excessive energy. The only thing that keeps me going is the very urgent need to maintain customers demands on time and of quality. Maybe something wrong with my body, since I knew well about my endurance before this.

Also, I am thinking of maybe the foods and less frequent of physical activity recently. Although I am trying to regulate my food, and fire up more physical activities..seems like there's a need to increase this. A few "accidents" have already occured because of my "extreme fatigue". I still pray to Allah to solve this, and I am going to ask from dear readers out there, hope of the best and do pray for me to get well soon. Think thats all for now. Already sweating as I've spent my time typing this entry. 

Till next time~

.....Salam....

Truth is Life-Changing

Salam..

Forgive me for not writing for so long. For the time being, got myself involved in small scale business operating from home. Home has been nice, especially because of the village area left almost unchanged for 20 years. Just nice enough, until I learnt a truth that the place was built up with devotion of human being to "something" other than Allah s.w.t. I have always been interested on how villages were founded on the first place. Remember, nowadays its easy because of the presence of machineries and tools. But how did human beings with outdated, even some stories did it with bare hands cleared out forest for the first place? Moreover, how community watch was done those days? Hiring private guards, CCTV?

For all the matters above, I wasnt there..and maybe would not know that until recently "disturbances" occured for some time. Many of the other houses experienced some kind of unexplained phenomena, alhamdulillah..Allah s.w.t protected me for the time being. The peak of the issue I am trying to explain to you is when my own grandmother stated she started to see "unusual" visuals and flashes of images normally unacceptable to us.But when I met the neighbours and swapped stories, clearly there is something strange. My grandma asked to be taken to meet a certain person (Bomoh) who knows of these origins and I asked why. She said the knowledge that person possess would insyaAllah will explain and may further eradicate these disturbances. I took her, but not directly, my grandma left with my father..along with my mother to seek some advices and guidances in the ways Islam permitted. The visitations lasted for a week, but the first day was quite shocking. I was asked by my father to recite some prayers and "ayatul-kursi" while opening all windows and doors, and was given with a large amount of salt to be distributed around the house. We did so, but the process did leave me feeling uneasy until today. I kept remembering the upstair room where that room give me a very unnerving aura that day when I sprinkled the salt inside. The room was not opened for months now until the day we opened it. Allah s.w.t knows..He is all-great..I know nothing.May He protect me and my family.

Then, after visitations to the particular person ended, I asked my grandma what happened there. This is the part where she revealed the story of how the village was founded. Those days, the founders were Muslims but lacked of knowledge and wisdom to differentiate "amalan yang betul dan yang tidak". They had learnt from somewhere/some people, knowledge of which now we know forbidden, to summon "things" and provide them with what they need. Among those, there are those who asked for strength (maybe for clearing forests and rocks), asked for guardian (s*ka, maybe). And all these "leftovers" never did leave the world yet as the original summoner already. This is what left, and from the stories revealed during interrogation upon summoned done by the "bomoh" to a few of my family, shocking news revealed that some were the results envious man that summoned these. I should not reveal why that happens. With that, that "bomoh" helped to cure partially, with the permission of Allah s.w.t did managed to reduce the disturbances until now.

Currently, I am writing in the very house I am telling you about. I'm sharing with you this because I wanted us to keep our believe and fear only to Allah. Its true, I am afraid, but must ask guidance and protection from Allah s.w.t. We all must, and keep our envy at bay..do not ruin other people's life. Allah s.w.t knows. Good rewards is for good deeds and bad rewards and punishment awaits those who dare worship other than Allah s.w.t. That is all for this entry. The surroundings are pretty dark here, my hands are shaking already. Although I can still joke with readers out there, but I cant hide the feeling from here. Will update on further news, broadcasting to you live from "the exact scene".